Personal Resolution

For those of you who are still gaping, please do not be reeled over by the sudden confession that i've made. Understand also that i've been considering this a long time but have not found the courage to do so. But i believe that it is still early for me to recuperate and get my life back in order and the only way to mend this issue is to first address it. This confession, and the trackings of my recovery progress which will ensue is not to alarm anyone but to commit myself to a fixture. Perhaps also, this decision of mine will inspire other people out there who are facing the same problem to come out of the dark with the assurance that you are not alone.

In terms of eating disorders, i have been on both extreme ends. Although my condition is nothing severe, i later found out through research that i fall into the statistics of girls battling with eating disorder. I used to deprive myself of food and obsess over calorie counting since i was in high school. For the past year, i have paradoxically used food as a substitute for other things in my life. In other words, I am an emotional binge eater and I've been hiding this from loved ones all along. But as much as i've used food as a comfort, i found no solace in it. One or two pieces of Tim Tam on a stressful night might be a comfort, but a whole pack in less than half an hour followed by other junk food out of sadness is not. It did not make me feel good, in fact, i was lethargic and unenergetic. I realised i was hurting myself more with the things that i thought would heal me. I was very ashamed and guilty, and the more ashamed and guilty i became,the more i abused food.

I realise that this has come to an end for a better state of mind and a healthier body. But no worries, as i said, it is not an alarming problem and I would prefer if you not ask me anything about it. Hopefully, this blog will serve as a space for me to deal with the psychological and emotional aspects of my problem. And i hope that as spectators, you will wait and cheer on me as i finish this course with triumph. =)