I have been going to bed at 3am in the morning and tossing and turning in my bed till 4. I have no idea what's your day been like and neither do you know mine. I must be matured, i tell myself. You did mention that you have night practises and recordings, and i did wait out of free will. I could be immature, and pout, but that will only make you feel bad after a tiring day at work, so I try to sound as happy as I can be. I have the immature urge to not wait again tonight but we haven't really talk in the past week that doing so would only make it worst. Long distance relationship is hard enough to maintain and unneccesary pouting and sulking would only make it worst. Yet i miss you a lot and the daily generic text messages...as heartfelt and meaningful as they may be, seem to be growingly pointless. Now we say it in capital letters to emphasize the growing affection and longing... but this will not survive on that alone. Your life, mine, this relationship is not a daily news feed that i can sign up on my mobile.
I enjoy my life here and I have a million exciting things to do. I know feeling miserable will not make it any better. And I dont want to say I LOVE YOU in caps, because it's not how i'm feeling. In fact, all i can mutter is, i miss you. In a silent, resilient, painful, pitiful way that comes out in a sigh. I'm not excited, i'm not inspired and i need to talk to you tonight.
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Perhaps u should have told him how u feel. Keeping all your emotion would not help the situation.
ReplyDeleteLong distance relation need more initiative and determination than any relation. Keep holding on!