Sunday, July 25, 2010



Thursday, February 18, 2010


From a shifting distance I heard
Shuffling footsteps, in disarray
Sweeping wilted dreams off
the tired dance floor.
The night has now lost its vigor
And I lay myself by the window
Listening to the last breath
Of my wilting dreams.
Finding shameless comfort
In the comfort of the conscience
that someone sits with me.

Monday, December 7, 2009

back in the white room

white on four walls

white and untouched

plain and simple

until you see a spot

a spot of red

depths of crimson

the scarlett poison

a spot of red

i see it as beauty

you crumbled to your knees

you disagree

that is the decay of someone's heart

i said

you laughed in disbelief

and there i stand

with my heart out in my hand

the spot of red on the wall

the spot of red on my dress

still there i stand

with my heart out in my hand


I want to lead you there
The land beyond the rainbows
And lie on a bed of daisies
white and pure as snow.

I want to cradle you
Stop your hands from shaking
Sing you a lullaby
only angels are allowed to sing.

I want to crawl into your mind
Act like a ghostbuster
And slay away your kings
For that i'd be unkind.

I want to stop others from hurting you
even if that means me too.

I want to lie on a bed of daisies
white and pure as snow
white and pure as snow.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

The Genesis of Each Day

I am a morning person and I am not a bit ashamed. I am the opposite of vampires, I am strengthened and ivigorated by sunlight. To me,there is nothing more uplifting than waking up with rays of sun spilling unto your bed, flowing over your cold body like warm golden honey. Perhaps that explains why i love late spring/summer so much because the sun is up and blaring at 7 30am. (In winter, you won't see the sun until 9am). The first thing that greets me when I open my sleepy eyes is the warm exudes of Morning, the Genesis of each day.

I usually wake up with a stretch and a short prayer (if i remember). Dad used to tell us how important it is to verbally 'seize' the day with a positive shout as you jump off bed. Truth be told, he looks a little dorky doing that but if that's what gets him going, what have i got to say.

As for me, one of the things I look most forward to every morning is the most impotant meal of the day-Breakfast. Ok, i'll also be a bit more honest, sometimes it is beakfast that gets me up early in the first place. Unlike back home, mornings here starts off more sluggishly. There's no mounting laundry nor pressing house chores to do. I stretch, weigh myself in my bithday suit, then head off to the showers where I run through a list of to-do things in my head. The warm shower shakes off the last bit of last night's dream left clinging on to me.

Then according to my mood, i'll dress and make up (strictly according to my mood)before making myself a hot cup of black coffee and a yummy bowl of banana porridge (*porridge is not's oatmeal). I'll eat as i do a round check of facebook and emails. Then, i slip into a day's work as the last morsel of my morning bliss melts away like butter under the hot, glaring sun...

The underlying beauty of Mornings is that we all get to start the day on a fresh new page. Whether it is picking up from yesterday's unfinished business, or mending last night's fault, the day begins on a new page. You might have messed things up yesterday, but today you get another chance to set things right again. Much like life i presume. Someone told me that we all make mistakes at every stage in our lives, and in return for the lack of knowledge if offers us, youth pays us by giving us ample chance to redeem ourselves when things go wrong.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Broadcast Future

The TV project screening at Loop Bar on Monday night was eye-opening. It was fun getting together with your course mates at the end of the semester to view the fruit of everyone's labour. Of course, some did better than others, but i think in general, everyone went home with the same goody bag-higher tolerance and a better understanding of broadcast media. Seeing the works of my coursemates really made me feel proud, you can pick up some talents right there and then. However, it is unsettling to note that almost all of the programmes followed a similiar structure of their host programme, each has the same factory manufactured style, structure and content. I know at this stage it is only fair that we follow a basic guideline, because it is about acquiing the basic skills; but still, it makes you wonder if that is why the media content we see today is so saturated yet generic.

I came into this course or even this entire degree having my mind dead set on entering the TV field. Yet two semester later, I am now edging towards radio. I fell in love very much with radio documentaries (I highly recommend ABC 360 and This American Life from Chicago Public Radio). I like the prospect of creating intimacy between the listeners and the talent; I like the idea of being able to provoke the listener's emotions through soundscapes; most of all, i like being able to listen more intently to other people's story and reenacting them on radio. It is a common perception (a misjudgment i'd say) that radio docos put people to sleep, but that is only if you're not paying attention or listening closely enough. The beauty of radio docos is that it allows you to be a more active media consumer. At least the visual aspect is removed, and you're left with your imagination to guide you through media consumption. You're not entirely manipulated though you are still guided within a certain framework.

TV or Radio? I have to decide which to enroll into next semester but thankfully i have the whole summer to think about it... =)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

spiralling words

honestly, i don't feel my feet on the ground.
it's like, i know how to swim
yet i am flapping in the water
i know about the theories, i've drawn a mind map
i have the skeleton, i even have the flesh,
the muscles. but it lacks a heart.

i wonder if birds ever forget how to fly?

* * *

constipated. that's the look i wear on my face these days.

* * *

i woke up at 3am. at 4am. and at 6am. then i gave up sleeping.

* * *

i'm thinking of mum all of a sudden. as jessie was going out to work today,
i got up from my work to say goodbye to her.
i remember jumping out from bed to say bye to mum every morning
i was 6 then
sometimes i would sit beside her and played around with her cosmetics
as she got dressed for work
i can still remember the smell of her La Poem perfume
and her well-pressed shoulder padded suits

* * *

I'm thinking of her
I'm thinking of me